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the arcadia zoo closes its chimp exhibit                         rose elle

   ​Ed was hired at the Arcadia Zoo. Given his sharp mind and forethought, he quickly became the boss’s favorite. He taught the camels to make blankets from their fur, after staying late every night for a week, and was in the process of teaching them not to spit when the boss promoted Ed to manager of the chimp exhibit.

   Although it was a prestigious position, Ed soon became disappointed, feeling the chimps weren’t fulfilling their potential. He trained them to walk tall with apples on their heads and reprimanded them when the fruit fell, which it often did. He shaved the chimps, making them look more dignified. He taught them to sign, but all they signed about was bananas and fucking.  

   Frustrated, Ed approached the boss’s office, prepared to brainstorm ways to make the chimps more interesting but found him asleep at the desk. The boss’s mind dreamt of snakes escaping the zoo while his heart dreamt of trees with flames instead of leaves.

   Ed left the boss’s mind’s dream alone. He carefully replaced the boss’s heart’s dream with the bones of dead zoo animals. He took the dream of trees with flames instead of leaves to the chimp exhibit where he broke off a small piece and handed it to one, who immediately ate it. That chimp grabbed the remaining dream and fed a piece to each of his companions. Then they slept.

   Ed lay with them, watching Venus rise at dawn. The chimps awoke different but mostly the same. They walked with perfect posture but didn’t go anywhere interesting. They were dramatically less hairy but insisted on wearing clothes. They developed their own language but still only spoke about bananas and fucking. 

   On his rounds, the boss discovered the same-but-different chimps. He walked among them, furious, finding Ed in the middle, chastised and wrote Ed up.

   “Are you mad we’re like you now?” one chimp asked the boss, tossing feces at his face.

   “We’re no such thing! We’re filthy. Abominations! We should be ashamed of our existence!” yelled another at an attentive chimp crowd. 

   While another kept a hand over his heart, counting the beats. “Sixty-five, Sixty-six, Sixty-seven…” 

   “Hold it with the stem up. It’s easier to peel,” one chimp said to a nearby friend.

   Taking it all in, the boss decided the chimps could not exist in their current state.

   And so, the chimps were rounded up, led out of their pen, directed to the opposite side of the zoo and herded along a labyrinth. 

   One chimp cried the entire way, “I don’t want to die. I’ve only just begun to live."

   Another sighed, “I’m ready to go now. I’ve lived entirely too long.” 

   “Three hundred and three, three hundred and four, three hundred and five…” counted the counter.

   In a fit of rage one chimp killed a friend and dragged his body the rest of the way. 

   But most of the others just ate bananas and fucked. 

   At the end of the labyrinth, the chimps were sedated then their bodies lit on fire. Everything burned to ashes except for their livers, which were gathered and fed to the camels.  

   No longer the boss’s favorite, Ed was demoted. He can now be found in the ticket booth at the Arcadia Zoo’s entrance. Each and every day, countless times a day, he answers the same questions with the same answers, sells tickets and crosses out the chimp exhibit on the maps before handing them to guests.

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Rose Elle writes.
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